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Final 2025 Regular Season MFL Statistics    Murdered: Aardvarks change attitude, latitude; Ravens lose case A series of loaded Mayflower trucks left the sleepy hamlet of Arkdale in the wee hours of the morning and hauled everything related to the Aardvarks' storied and complicated franchise 6 hours to the northeast before settling at Murder Row, a brand-new MFL-specific stadium built at the feet of the Mackinac Bridge in Mackinaw City. When the coffee was being made, residents of both towns got quite the surprise: one's hopes dashed and another's hopes bursting. The Mackinaw City Murder set up operations in record time next door to Fort Michilimackinac and are already to go for the 2026 season. But, the move didn't come without some controversy. Chicago Ravens owner Jeremy Bonk filed an emergency federal injunction with the United State District Court of Western Michigan against Davin Simpson and John Kessick for their use of a very similar logo structure and team colors. In Bonk v. Simpson, Kessick, et. al., case 69-420, USDCWM Chief Justice Hala Y. Jarbou from her chambers in Marquette, MI listened to the litigants' arguments for approximately 15 minutes each before delivering her ruling. Jarbou ruled in favor of the defendants, referencing the CFL's former peaceful relationship between the Saskatchewan Roughriders and Ottawa Rough Riders in Canada and later adding "Mr. Bonk, the arguments you have advanced before this tribunal today possess neither the persuasive force requisite to incline this Court toward an adjudication adverse to the defendants, nor the jurisprudential merit necessary to warrant the extraordinary elevation of this matter to a superior appellate forum. Plus, dude, this is fucking fantasy football; get a life." 8/9/26 Phase II: Miami cuts 10 in MFL Draft prep move As Phase II of Player Releases begins the official 2026 MFL year, the Mafia stood true to its name by gunning down ten players from their roster. RB R.J. Harvey and PK Jake Bates were among those cut. In addition, long time Mafia QB Aaron Rodgers was released again; the veteran signal caller and 2005 undrafted rookie stood tall in the pocket for Miami from 2018 to 2023 and again last season. The cuts open up over $17 million is cap space for the Mafia. The club is expected to go after multiple veterans early in the MFL Draft. In related news, the Canton Cougars opened Phase II by cutting injured veteran RB Joe Mixon. 8/3/26 Gnash Wednesdays: 24 hours earlier start two particular weeks An interesting development in the MFL schedule in 2026: Two MFL weekends this season will start on Wednesday, not Thursday. Week One will begin on Wednesday, September 9 with New England at Seattle, followed by San Francisco vs. the LA Rams the following day from Melbourne, Australia. Week Twelve will also feature a matchup on Wednesday. Green Bay will play at the LA Rams on November 25, Thanksgiving Eve. On Turkey Day 24 hours later, Chicago heads to Detroit, Philadelphia battles in Dallas, and Kansas City will enter hostile Buffalo. 5/17/26 Mafia reorganization: Wills back to Godfather Less than a week after the seismic shakeup in Miami, Dave Wills is returning to his position as head coach with the Mafia. Wills stated that "after careful re-consideration and deep discussions, it has been decided that Davin [Simpson] will be their consigliere--the assistant head coach--for the 2026 year and take the head coaching reins of the mighty Mafia here in the near future." Commissioner Drew Kuespert added that "the proud tradition and future of the Mafia will certainly be in a strong position with Wills taking Simpson under his wing." Simpson blew off any concerns of instability with club brass and said that he plans to focus on the MFL Draft and their rights to the No. 4 overall pick in August. 1/4/26 Allen becomes MFL's first three-time MVP; Bruney, Jeanty claim hardware For the third year in a row, QB Josh Allen has been named the MFL's Most Valuable Player by the member clubs. The MFL Scoring Champion compiled 16 voting points, including 3 first-place votes, topping Orlando's RB Jahmyr Gibbs and D.C.'s RB Jonathan Taylor, each with 11 points. In the race for Coach of the Year, D.C.'s James Bruney was the near unanimous choice, earning 6 of 7 votes. It helped that Bruney ran the table in the regular season, going 14-0, but narrowly missing a second Super Bowl title. Orlando's Super Bowl Champion coach, Trent Lewis, got the remaining vote. Finally, Missouri's RB Ashton Jeanty narrowly beat out Orlando's RB Quinshon Judkins for Rookie of the Year. The top overall pick in 2025 secured 13 voting points (including 3 first-place votes) to Judkins' 11. Undrafted RB Kyle Monangai finished third with 8 points. 12/9/25 D.C. runs the table "It'll never happen again." Those were the words of our own Dr. K 22 years ago when Pittsburgh went 15-0. Two weeks later, they won Super Bowl VI. Fast forward to present day and the D.C. Dinosaurs pulled off the improbable, running through 14 opponents and finishing the season undefeated. The top seed will get a week off before hosting the Divisional Round. In addition, D.C. broke the 500-point barrier, finishing the year with 501 points, third only to 2020 Arkdale (506) and those same 2003 Spears (508). The big test: Can they win two more to join that '03 Pitt squad at the top of the MFL mountain at 16-0? |
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